and i think that says it all do you think ♪ ♪ i'm looking hot do you think i'm looking hot do you think i'm looking hot do you think ♪ ♪ i'm looking hot oh-oh-oh oh oh ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: no doubt! nice job, guys. oh, that was great. good to see you again. that was terrific. thank you. thank you. thanks, guys. thank you, gentlemen! i want to thank my guests president barack obama, and of course, no doubt. tomorrow night russell brand and jane lynch will be here. but, the emmy man jimmy fallon coming up now! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! feeling good. thank you very much, everybody. welcome -- welcome to "late

night with jimmy fallon," everybody. oh, thank you so much. we got a big show. [ cheers and applause ] big show. thank you, buddy. hey, here's what people are talking about today, with just two weeks left in the presidential race, there's talk that mitt romney is now refusing to do any more tv interviews before election day. when asked why he didn't want to make any more public statements, romney was like, "uh, because i want to win?" [ laughter ] i don't want to say anything. [ scattered applause ] you want me to talk? he'll do whatever it takes, in fact, a source close to romney just revealed that he gets a spray tan before major campaign events. yeah, i guess that explains romney's new secret service code name -- the mittuation. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers ] ♪ mitt -- mitt, calm down.

you really lost it out there, what happened? [ as romney ] i just felt the beat and i-i-i just had to start dancing. [ normal voice ] some more campaign news, yesterday obama visited the swing state of ohio for the 17th time this year. 17 times, people there are so used to seeing him, now when he shows up they're like, "oh, hi, oh." [ laugher and groans ] >> steve: come on, ohio. [ scattered applause ] come on! >> jimmy: ohio. ♪ that's all right. they're a tough audience. they're playing tough, they're playing hardball. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: and that's what you got to do. >> steve: i saw the chris matthews audience. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. i love him. all right, this is interesting, you guys. a new poll found that 59% of americans would rather eat a burger with president obama, while only 41% would eat one with mitt romney. [ cheers ] [ scattered applause ]

while most americans don't care who they're with as long as they get that burger. [ cheers and applause ] i don't care, who is it? who is it? charles manson? how you doing, man? we have rod stewart on the show tonight! what? whoa! one of my favorite guys. rod stewart on the show. he's got a new book out, he's got a christmas record. so, if rod stewart -- if you want his body and you think he's sexy -- [ cheers ] you're finally going to have the chance to let him know, tonight. [ cheers and applause ] 'cause he's going to be out here. [ applause ] this is not good, you guys, it's rumored -- this is just a rumor, that naked pictures of justin bieber's dad are floating around online. [ scattered cheers ] yeah, bieber's dad. even tmz was like, "eh, no thanks. we're good. yeah, we got something else, yeah. what's lindsay up to?" [ light laughter ] tonight was game one of the world series at san francisco's at&t park!

you can tell it was at&t park because whenever the umps made a call it got dropped. [ laughter and applause ] what am i? what did he say? >> you are -- >> jimmy: what did he say? >> steve: call failed. >> jimmy: just don't get off the bag, just stay -- and finally, some international news, it's rumored that kim jong un's wife is pregnant. so, i guess north korea has at least one working missile. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have got a fun, fun show tonight. thank you for tuning in, thank you for watching us. he is one of the biggest rock stars in the whole wide world. rod stewart is here tonight! [ cheers and applause ] rod stewart, he's got

1,000 hits. 1,000 hit songs. the first one, i believe was "maggie may" right? that was his first one. "tonight's the night." [ scattered cheers ] "do you think i'm sexy." [ cheers ] "young turks." >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: i always thought it was confusing, exactly. because, you all know that song but you don't go like, "oh, 'young turks.'" it's -- ♪ young hearts be free tonight ♪ [ mouthing guitar ] yeah. "young turks." ♪ yeah, fantastic, i know. we could sing it all night long. [ laughter ] it sounded good. i got to say, it sounded good. >> steve: they're good, they're talented too. >> jimmy: "infatuation." "hot legs." >> steve: whoa. >> jimmy: "forever young." you remember "forever young," the video? that little red-headed, kid looked nothing like him? yeah, that was his son, he sat in the back of a train or something? or was that "downtown train"? it's "forever young." >> steve: baby takes the morning train. >> jimmy: no, it's like a little kid, he's dressed like a little newsie or something? >> steve: i think that was it. >> jimmy: yeah. cute little kid. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, i think it was "forever young." "motown song," you remember that? ♪ bring over some of your old motown records ♪

♪ we'll put the speakers in the window and we'll go and that's like -- jam, he's just awesome. he just can't stop. "downtown train," of course. my favorite, "faces." "faces," rod stewart. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: "stay with me," when it's like -- >> steve: that's one of the greatest groove-time rock songs in the world. >> jimmy: 'cause it gets into a groove. it starts somewhere else and then it goes like -- [ mouthing the beat ] how's it's start off? it's starts off -- ♪ stay with me >> jimmy: it didn't take -- flip, slow down! then it goes -- ♪ ♪ ♪ stay with me stay with me for tonight you're going to stay with me ♪ ♪ get down get up, get down ♪ [ cheers and applause ] he starts singing and he's like -- get down, get up, get down, get up again!

get back down, now get up! now, get down! everyone get out! now, come in! now, get out! come on, get a burger! eat one, charles manson, anybody! get up! >> steve: that was like an overture to the show. >> jimmy: yeah, that's what he says. he's like a james brown. he's goes into james brown-rod stewart there. >> steve: ♪ in the mornin' >> jimmy: it's almost like a billy preston piano -- [ mouthing the beat ] ♪ ♪ i know your name is rita ♪ right there. [ cheers ] he knows her name is rita. >> steve: he knows it. [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: now, get down! now, get up! now, get out! ha! >> steve: and his name's rod. come on. >> jimmy: rod "the bod." he's rod "the mod." he's everything, man. you can't beat that, man. plus, oh, my gosh, we have more show. >> steve: what!? >> jimmy: she is the star of the show, "once upon a time," jennifer morrison is stopping by! >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: she's always fun. beautiful. >> steve: i remember her from

"house," yeah. >> jimmy: that show is fun. from nbc's "whitney," the very funny stand-up comedian, chris d'elia will be performing for us. stand-up for us tonight. >> steve: standing it up. he's a stand up guy. >> jimmy: talented dude from "whitney." i like that guy. how of you guys use instagram? [ cheers ] it's a fun thing, if you don't use it, i love it. it's an app for your phone, it lets you take a picture and post it online for all your friends and followers to look at. it's basically twitter for pictures. it's the best. so, i thought it would be a fun idea if we try out this new thing. i just went on instagram and i posted a photo of me in my halloween costume, which i made myself. [ scattered cheers ] and gave it the #diyhalloweencostume. here's what it looks like. that it. [ laughter ] that's me as fit romney. you get it? so, it's fit romney. >> steve: i don't get it. >> jimmy: i made it last night. all i did was put on some shorts from your closet. >> steve: right. >> jimmy: higgins, i found -- [ laughter ] yeah, you still work at american -- american apparel, don't do? >> steve: i do -- work together. same office.

>> jimmy: uh -- now, here's where you guys come in. i want you to go on instagram and post your own diy halloween costumes pictures. go crazy. it could be super simple or some elaborate costume that you spent hours making. doesn't matter. just as long as you make it yourself. give it a good name then put the #diyhalloweencostume on there, so we can find it. then, we'll take the best costume and we'll show them next week for halloween, you guys. oooh! [ cheers and applause ] [ in ghostly voice ] >> steve: spooky! >> jimmy: spooky! >> steve: fitt romney. muah-ha-ha! >> jimmy: now, now it is time to take a look at the news of the now, the news of today and the news of the now. it's time for "night news now." ♪ >> tonight, liam neeson describes his approach to the process of acting. >> the motor thing between the brain and making the mouth work to say lines -- >> matt damon says, "yeah, no, no, not yet, no --" >> yeah, no, no, not yet, no -- >> and halle berry talks about her love for "weekend at bernie's 1 and 2." >> well, i think they're -- you

know, they're two classics. >> it's time for "night news now." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello, let's see what's happening. the final presidential debate between barack obama and mitt romney was held on monday night. at one point, the candidates gave everyone an early preview of their halloween costumes, take a look. >> i want to build on our strengths. [ laughter ] and i put forward a plan to make sure that we're bringing manufacturing jobs back to our shores. >> i'll lead you in an open and honest way -- [ laughter ] -- and i ask for your vote, i would like to be the next president of the united states to support and help this great nation. >> thank you both so much. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: in sports, the world series kicks off tonight between the san francisco giants and the detroit tigers. here to tell us more about it is our compulsive lying sports correspondent, trent gesh. trent? >> thank you, jimmy. game one of the world series was played tonight inside of a cupcake factory. [ light laughter ] they decided to play the game shirts and skins with the giants wearing matching def leppard t-shirts and the tigers playing

completely naked. [ light laughter ] in the sixth inning, the game was disrupted by two skinny elephants playing checkers in right field. [ light laughter ] the giants won the game 608 to three. my name is stephanie williams and i'm a 15-year-old girl with pigtails. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, trent. folks, this is a sad story here. [ long silence ] [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> now to discuss the gdp, correspondent, todd bloom. todd? >> thank you, jimmy. today we're talking about the gdp, or gross domestic product. the gross domestic product is q-tips. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: now let's take a quick look at some polls. [ applause ]

folks, one of the biggest issues in the country right now is the economy. so, here to give us an update, our correspondent who always sounds like he's crying. ted dungy. ted? >> [ voice breaking ] thank you, jimmy. [ light laughter ] there are some signs of economic recovery -- including an increase base in the construction of single-family houses -- [ crying loudly ] -- and apartments. and last month, construction pace was the fastest in more than four years. >> jimmy: that sounds like good news. [ light laughter ] >> [ voice breaking ] it is. it's great news. [ crying loudly ] >> thank you, ted. [ applause ] >> jimmy: in local news -- janice wilson once again took home the top five at the library county bake-sale for cranberry-glazed bundt cake. [ light laughter ] here's a home video of janice showing how she makes her delicious cranberry glaze. >> and then we got to put it in the refrigerator, okay?

oh! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: looks great, janice. [ applause ] [ laughter ] the presidential election is coming up in less than two weeks. here to help us better understand the election is our political correspondent from germany, usher. usher? >> danka, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] in order to understand the need for the term of the new election -- [ light laughter ] -- they have to look at it -- like the new video game, dance central 3. [ light laughter ] if the candidate wants to win,

he has to do all of the dances. ♪ like this. "row the boat." [ clapping to beat ] the "get it in, get it out, get it in, get it out, get it in, get it out again." and then they have to move, they make the mandate that every night at 9:00, they have to do the dance to the dance central 3. danka. >> jimmy: thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much usher. [ cheers and applause ] folks, this is hard for me to say. unique new york -- unique new york -- unique new york. there we go. and finally, there's hope for the detroit tigers led by manager jim leyland. while we don't know who will come out on top. we do know that this is what he would look like if his face were turned upside-down. >> it's just part of the game. i'm going to manage this game tonight like i manage any other game. i'll do what i think it takes to win it.

♪ >> jimmy: that was "night news now." stick around, we'll be right back with rod stewart, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] this is joe woods' first day of work. and his new boss told him two things -- cook what you love, and save your money. joe doesn't know it yet, but he'll work his way up from busser to waiter to chef before opening a restaurant specializing in fish and game from the great northwest. he'll start investing early, he'll find some good people to help guide him, and he'll set money aside from his first day of work to his last, which isn't rocket science. it's just common sense. from td ameritrade.

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a grammy living legend and a commander of the british empire, his new book, "rod: the autobiography" is in stores now and his latest cd, "merry christmas, baby" comes out october 30th. please welcome the one and only rod stewart! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: get up, get down, get up! rod, rod stewart, thank you for coming on the show. >> privilege. privilege. >> jimmy: you know how much i love you. i do. i'm a giant fan of you. >> oh, bless you. >> jimmy: i really am, and i got to say, because i was -- i put out a comedy record, a while back and i got nominated for a grammy. i was lucky enough to get nominated for a new grammy award. and you were --

-- i didn't win, no, don't clap. [ laughter ] i lost to robin williams, which is great, the guy's a funny man, anyhow, he's great. but you were giving out the award with harvey fierstein. >> that's right. i remember. >> jimmy: and i was sitting there. i was in the crowd, i was sitting in the audience. i was so nervous. and you came out and you were giving out the nominees and i was like, "rod stewart is saying my name right now." and you said my name and for some reason, i don't know why, we don't even know each other. we didn't know each other. you go, "very nice," "good job, jimmy," or "good luck, jimmy," or "great job, jimmy." and i was like, "did he just -- did rod stewart just say -- because i didn't win." but you're like, "that jimmy fallon --" >> i knew talent when i saw it. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on now! well, i got to tell you something, because i'm very close with my family and i remember calling my mom and dad that night -- and my mom is like -- i thought they were going to say, "aw, you'll get it next year." whatever. and my mom was like, "rod stewart said good job, jimmy." i was like, "he did!" and we loved you, i've always loved you. but now i super loved you. [ laughter ] [ applause ] from that moment on, i will never forget it for as long as i live. anyway -- serious.

>> serious now, come on. >> jimmy: let's get real serious, i'm going to make you cry. >> no, please don't! >> jimmy: i'm just kidding. >> i cry very easily as well. i really do. >> jimmy: are you a mushy crier? >> don't get me going. don't get me going. >> jimmy: how did you put this book out? i want to ask you. how did you decide to -- "i got to do it now. i got to put out a book." they must have wanted to you write a book forever. >> well, time is passing by, you know. and my two brothers are getting up there. my sister is getting on as well. so, i wanted recollection of their memories, obviously in the first five or six years, i don't remember. so -- [ light laughter ] so, and they were pretty good. >> jimmy: yeah, i can see why. >> their recalls was tremendous. you know. so they helped me a great deal. >> jimmy: it's neat because you forget all of those big moments, you were living the moments. "do you remember, was that right? was that the real story?" and like yeah, i mean -- when you're this guy, you don't really remember what's going down. [ cheers and applause ] you could be that guy or that guy? you have no idea where you are at this point. >> -- discussing where we get to go that night after the show. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: exactly, yeah. but i read in this book.

very interesting stories. anyone who wants to be a rock and roll superstar should read this because you hear these crazy stories. but one of the tamer stories is that on your way up, bob dylan got you into singing because you heard bob dylan on his first album. >> yeah, his first album is -- >> jimmy: and you go that's it. >> yeah, that was very moving for me, because i obviously had never been to america, i was only about 17, i think. you know. that album just brought it all home what america was like, you know, the songs. "letter to woody" and all the songs on the album. i got myself a harmonica, honest, and tried to be like bob. and you know, to this day, i've never met the guy. >> jimmy: you never met bob dylan? >> no, never met him. is he a nice bloke? >> jimmy: yeah, i hang out with him all the time. [ laughter ] >> yeah, right! >> jimmy: we play nintendo wii together. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> maybe i shouldn't meet him. he might be an ass [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. you never want to meet people that aren't good. but i heard -- yeah, you never know. but i met you -- and i was afraid -- >> how am i doing, dear? >> jimmy: you're phenomenal. [ cheers and applause ] you've lived up above and beyond, you're the coolest. you know i love you. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: but then you, you

wrote in here that you hung out in the music scene in london and there was a man with a cardigan, singing and you go, oh, that's -- that's -- >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: big effect on you. >> this was 1961-62. and i used to go to this place called eel pie island and see this band. and my girlfriend's girlfriend went out with this singer who was mick jagger. and the band was obviously the rolling stones. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> but imagine this, guys. going in and seeing the stones with 20 people in the audience. and they all used sit on stools in cardigans and play. [ light laughter ] it was amazing. and i said to myself, "i can do that." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. and boy, did you do that. i mean, good god, did you do it. there's so many bands you were you in. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you were in bands i didn't even know that you were in. i looked it up, i'm like -- >> not girls, bands -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no. sorry. well you got to read the book. if you read the book -- [ laughter ] >> shame on me! >> jimmy: shame on you! you should. come on, so many cool things. look at the back of this book, there. i mean, there's so many things, so many stories. let's -- you were in, jimmy powell and the five

dimensions. >> yeah, they were useless. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. four of the dimensions were cool. >> yeah, they really weren't a very good band. moving on. >> jimmy: yeah. hoochie coochie men. >> well, they were fantastic, yeah. they were really -- they were all old jazz musicians playing chicago blues. it was just fabulous. they taught me such a lot. i was only 19, so i learned a lot from those guys. >> jimmy: and then steampacket. >> yeah, it was the same band. it was, just different name. >> jimmy: and jeff beck group. >> oh, now that was a band. >> jimmy: here we go. [ applause ] >> jeff beck, real good. >> jimmy: talk about jeff beck -- i mean you just got into that, that's when you started tasting fame, i would say? >> well, not really. we were -- ronnie wood was out of work. i was out of work. and so was jeff. he'd left the yardbirds. so, we decided to put a band together. and low and behold, we went on tour and all of a sudden we found out jimmy page of led zeppelin. they all sort of copied us. you know. i think led zeppelin, they owe the jeff beck group a hell of a lot. you know, they copied us. >> jimmy: they really did, yeah. >> and they're a great band, don't get me wrong. but the genesis came from the

jeff beck group. >> jimmy: yeah. and then -- so then, jeff beck group, you guys went "well, we just can't -- it's not working." so go to faces. [ applause ] >> oh, those bunch of drinkers. >> jimmy: and that's when you do, that's when it starts being crazy. then you become rod the bod. >> rod the bod -- >> jimmy: "rod the mod, rod the bod." let me tell you, i remember i was in little league and some kid came up and said, "here's my impression of rod stewart." and he took a baseball and shoved it down his pants. [ laughter ] >> oh, i wish! i wish i was that well endowed. >> jimmy: well, i go, "i don't get this -- i don't get the joke." i didn't know what he was talking about. i was a little kid. and then you look back at these photos and go, "oh yeah, rod the bod. hey guys! how is it going?" hey oh! [ cheers and applause ] what is that outfit? is that on backwards? >> oh no. >> jimmy: look at that. >> that's my pumping tool bag, there. >> jimmy: it certainly is. yeah. god, you look great there. but man oh man, the book -- i thank gosh you wrote a book. because there's so many good stories you'll want to read and you'll laugh at. and you'll be like, "this is a crazy life he lives." >> it really is a happy book. it's not really a book about

drugs and sex. of course there's drugs and sex in it but it's just -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: a little bit. >> what would a rock book be without? but it really is, it's light-hearted and a fun read. it really is. >> jimmy: it really is. and of course, we love hearing your stuff. christmas record -- i love christmas albums. i live for them. finally, "merry christmas baby" is coming out october 30th -- >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: the day before all hallow's eve. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm very proud of it. i have michael buble on it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah! we love the buble. [ applause ] >> love michael. he's such a great guy. >> jimmy: he is a good guy. he's a great guy. >> and then i've got mary j. blige. [ cheers and applause ] cee lo. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, we love cee lo. >> and the best one of all is ella fitzgerald. [ applause ] >> jimmy: how is this possible? what do you mean? >> we do a song called -- >> jimmy: how many drugs have you done? [ light laughter ] >> those days are gone. what they do -- they took the track away from ella. it's a song called "what are you doing new year's eve?" >> jimmy: oh, i love that. and they took the track out, i don't know how they do it. and they just left her voice. and then we put a new track to

it and then i had to go in and sing it. and i loved ella when i was 17, you know. it wasn't fashionable when you were 17, in the '60s to like ella fitzgerald. but i did. so when i walked in to sing it, i couldn't sing, i choked up. i just couldn't sing it. >> jimmy: she's just beautiful. >> i cried me eyes out, it was so amazing. >> jimmy: aw, well, there you go. finally, the technology -- [ applause ] -- you're singing a song with her now. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's awesome. >> you guys, more with rod stewart when we come back. come on. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ "ever ask somebody to lend you a foot?" "who thinks about stuff like that?" "vince mahe grew up on two continents... and noticed that wherever you go, people have their hands full, but their feet free." "the result? a liftgate you operate with your foot." "code name?" "open sesame" "the all new twenty thirteen ford escape. it's what happens when you go further."

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're here with the one and only rod stewart whose book is out right now. "rod: the autobiography." you can check it out.

download it on kindle, the whole thing, the whole madness. and then, "merry christmas, baby" comes out october 30th. this is his christmas album, with all sorts of great people on it. but then -- not only that, you have another -- you have -- this is his first studio album, coming out -- just you, with original songs. >> yeah, it's the first -- i've written 11 songs for it, yeah. well, they said they were ready for an album and -- you know, the songwriting had left me for a while and now it has come crashing back. >> jimmy: when is it coming out? >> february or march. >> jimmy: i can't -- i mean -- i cannot wait for this. >> great. >> jimmy: i will be singing it like crazy. get down, get up, get down. i'm doing the whole thing. [ laughter ] speaking of new rod stewart songs, by the way, you and i created a little correspondence over youtube last week. here's the story. a few months ago, i was taking a shower. and the song popped into my head and fully formed. it was like a gift from the gods. it was beautiful. [ light laughter ] >> hold it, hold it, hold it. >> jimmy: and every time i sang it, i kept hearing your voice in my head.

i was, yeah. [ laughter ] i was like, "this is a rod stewart song. he would nail this." so, when i saw that you were coming up on the show, i posted this on youtube as a personal message to rod stewart. take a look. >> hey, everybody. this message is for rod stewart. i think you should come on our show and perform this song with me -- if you like it. called "dancing with you all night long." by rod stewart. ♪ well, i was feeling sad and blue thought my dancin' days were through ♪ ♪ until the day i fell in love ♪ hit it! ♪ with you ♪ now lonely days are gone ever since you came along i'm dancin' with you all night long ♪ [ rhythmic clapping ♪ ♪ well, i was feelin' sad but now i'm feelin' glad i'm dancin' with you all night long ♪ so, i hope you liked that rod and -- [ light laughter ] yeah, can't wait to sing it with you, on the show. a couple of weeks. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. it was not a funny song.

>> no, it's great. really good. >> jimmy: it wasn't a funny song. just a real song. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but i thought -- and, so -- that -- and fyi, the song is actually called "dancing with you all night long by rod stewart." [ light laughter ] the "by rod stewart" is in the title of the song. [ laughter ] so, even if you don't wanna sing it -- so, anyways, a few days later, you actually responded. 'cause that's how cool you are. you posted your own video on youtube, take a look at this. >> fallon, me old sausage. i'm looking forward to doing this duet with you on this song that you've written, "dancing with you all night long." >> jimmy: how cool is that? that's my man. [ cheers and applause ] so you're here. the roots have learned the song. roots, right? you got it? >> what a band. >> yes. >> jimmy: there's nothing left to do. >> let's go. >> jimmy: but sing this. ready? "dancing with you all night long." come on! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ well, i was feeling

sad and blue sad and blue ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ thought my dancin' days were through ♪ ♪ dancin' days were though ♪ ♪ till the day i fell in love with ♪ hit it! ♪ ♪ you ♪ now lonely days are gone ever since you came along i'm dancin' with you all night long ♪ ♪ well, i was feelin' sad but now i'm feelin' glad dancin' with you all night long ♪ ♪ feeling, feeling, feeling feeling on top of the world ♪ ♪ on top of the world ♪ reelin', reelin', reelin' reeling' from the feeling the feeling that you're my girl ♪ ♪ woo-hoo ♪ now lonely days are gone ever since you came along i'm dancin' with you all night long ♪ ♪ well, i was feelin' sad but now i'm feelin' glad i'm dancin' with you all night long ♪ ♪ help me, baby help me dance my blues away get the blues away ♪ ♪ tell me that you love me

each and every single day oh, every single day woo ♪ ♪ now lonely days are gone ever since you came along i'm dancin' with you all night long ♪ ♪ well, i was feelin' sad but now i'm feelin' glad i'm dancin' with you all night long ♪ ♪ i'm dancin' with you all night long all night long ♪ ♪ i'm dancin' with you all night long all night long ♪ ♪ dancin' with you oh, baby, i'm dancin' with you ♪ [ cheers and applause ] -- again! again! again! ♪ ♪ all yeah -- night long ♪ ♪ oh, i'm dancin' with you all night long ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: rod stewart,

everybody! the roots! "rod: the autobiography" is in stores now. his new cd, "merry christmas, baby," comes out october 30th. rod stewart! [ cheers and applause ] jennifer morrison joins us next. there she is, in the bud light platinum suite! ♪ the wheat in every mini-wheat has gotta be just right. perfect golden color. rich in fiber. my dad taught me, and i taught my son out there. morning, pa. wait... who's driving the...? ♪ 99 bushels of wheat on the farm, 99 bushels of wheat ♪ [ male announcer ] yep, there's 8 layers of whole grain fiber in those mini-wheats® biscuits... to help keep you full... ♪ 45 bushels of wheat ...all morning long. there's a big breakfast... [ mini ] yee haw! ...in those fun little biscuits.

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and withdrawals at chase atms. all for one flat monthly fee so there's zero confusion. get rid of prepaid problems. get chase liquid. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] you know our next guest from her work on "house" and "how i met your mother." now you can see her every sunday night at 8:00 p.m. on the abc hit show, "once upon a time." please welcome jennifer morrison. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: absolutely gorgeous. jennifer morrison, welcome. you look beautiful. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i've been doing a lot of research on you since you've been here last. >> yes. >> i realize that you grew up in chicago.

>> yeah. >> so, this must have been a big deal for you. you're a little kid here. >> yeah. i was about 10 years old there. >> jimmy: on the cover with michael jordan. [ cheers and applause ] look at you, there. how cute. how does this happen? >> i actually had to audition for that and i was sitting in the lobby. and you know how, an actor, it's terrible when you can hear through the door and you hear what's going on in there. >> jimmy: for auditions? so awful. >> this time, it served me because i could hear them saying, "don't be shy. don't be shy." >> so, i was like, "i am not gonna be shy." so i go in. they go, "stand on the chair, hold the ball and just pretend like you're dunking, like michael jordan." so, i take the ball i'm on the chair. i jump off. i slam the ball down. stick my tongue out and i'm like, "ahh!" and they're like, "whoa, whoa. just stand there with the ball." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "don't dunk the ball." >> "don't have to jump off and dunk it." but then, i got the job. >> jimmy: then you go it. you got the job. >> because i wasn't shy. yeah. >> jimmy: look at it, right there. there -- you're dunkin' with your tongue out. i mean, you're doin' the jordan. >> yeah. >> jimmy: was it amazing? did you get to meet him? >> i did. you know, i came in and i -- i was really star struck and i was very little at that time, so he was really big. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i said, "oh, so you play

basketball all year-round?" that was, like, all i could come up with. and he was like, "no, i also like golf." >> jimmy: there you go. that's good. >> and that was the extent of our conversation. like, it ended there. >> jimmy: i take that as a win. yeah. you got to -- michael jordan got to talk to you. did he sign anything for you or give you anything? >> well, see, this is where i really screwed up. he signed a pair of air jordans for me in 1991 -- i decided to wear to school 'cause i thought that would be cool. >> jimmy: oh, no. so, they're just totally ruined? but you were just like -- you were a cool kid wearing cool high tops. >> i was not cool and i was just wearing high tops and i just ruined -- >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. totally worth nothing. you didn't keep anything? >> i mean, i have them. they're just dirty. >> jimmy: is the autograph remotely on there now? >> a little bit. >> jimmy: it says mic -- jordan now. >> sort of. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. [ light laughter ] which was a sandwich short-lived at mcdonalds. but it was a very delicious sandwich, none the least. now, you have -- "once upon a time." >> yes. >> jimmy: congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: this is a cool show. [ cheers and applause ] it's a cool show. >> thank you. >> jimmy: do you wanna set up frame of what the show is about?

'cause it's a -- it's a cool idea. >> yeah, it's basically as if every fairytale character that ever existed is actually real. >> jimmy: um hm. >> and there is a fairytale land but they've been cursed by the evil queen and the curse sort of makes them live in the real world and they don't know who they truly are, so it could be anyone. you could be a fairytale character and not know it and you'll never have your happy ending if you don't know it. and, in our story, it's -- [ laughter ] that's what i'm here to tell you, jimmy. >> jimmy: i appreciate that. thank you. >> but in our story, it's prophesized that the child of snow white and prince charming is going to be the savior that's gonna come back break this curse and start the -- the final battle that will lead to returning all the happy endings. and i play the child of snow white and prince charming. >> jimmy: that's very good. it's well-done. it's a well-done show. i wanna show everyone a clip of this. >> oh, great. >> jimmy: here's a sneak peek of jennifer morrison in this sunday's episode of "once upon a time." take a look. >> i already told you i'm just a blacksmith. >> sure you are. [ whistles ] don't wanna talk to us? maybe you'll talk to the ogres when they rip you limb from limb.

come on. >> you can't just leave me here like this! >> what if he's telling the truth? >> he's not. >> good for you. you bested me. i can count the amount of people who've done that on one hand. >> is that supposed to be funny? who are you? >> killian jones. but most people have taken to call me by my more colorful moniker -- hook. >> hook? >> do you like my satchel? >> as in captain hook? >> ah, so you've heard of me? >> jimmy: that's how fun it is. i love a twist. [ cheers and applause ] it's a major hit. congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you deserve it. >> thank you. >> jimmy: come back whenever you want. jennifer morrison. "once upon a time" airs sundays at 8:00 p.m. on abc. chris d'elia performing stand-up after the break. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ wooohooo....hahaahahaha!

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. right now, we've got a very, very funny comedian, who also stars on "whitney," which premieres its second season, wednesday november 14th, right here on nbc -- i think it's 8:00. please give it up for chris d'elia, everybody!

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> yo, yo, what's up? everybody good, yeah? [ cheers ] you know, all right, cool, man. my -- my ex would get so drunk, you know, why do -- girls absolutely get drunker than dudes. that's -- there's no question about that. it's true. see right there. girls -- girls get this drunk. [ drunken voice ] "eh, you know what? uh, it doesn't -- eh, excuse me. what is it that, uh, i'm about to say -- you don't even know where -- [ mumbles ] you know what, is it -- [ hiccups ] uh -- excuse me. whatever, you know what -- it doesn't even matter! [ laughter and applause ] it doesn't even matter, you know? it doesn't even" -- nothing matters to a drunk girl at all. nothing. [ drunken voice ] "hey, you know what? it doesn't even matter." you're like, "yo, there's a crocodile right next to you."

[ drunken voice ] "uh, excuse me, i have a question for you. is it your crocodile, is that it? you don't even know -- you just make things up. are you afraid that it's going to take your job? is that what it is? excuse me, uh, it doesn't have pants on. how many people have jobs with no pants on?" you're like -- do you even need me for this conversation? [ drunken voice ] "no, hey, you know what? it doesn't even matter. [ cheers and applause ] [ drunken voice ] hey, you know what -- [ gags ] what?" hey, yo drunk girls are the only people on the planet that can almost throw up and not care about it at all, right? that's -- if you were hanging out and almost threw up, you know game over. you got to go home immediately, right? just like, hey, bro, what's up? [ gags ] yo, okay, i got to get out of here right now. immediately. it's time to go home. drunk girls don't care, they'll be like -- [ drunken voice ] "hey!

[ gags ] where you going? come back here -- [ gags ] where's nicole? nicole!? [ gags ] it's my song! [ cheers and applause ] [ gags ] it doesn't even matter! you know what i mean?" [ gags ] [ laughter ] i always knew -- i always knew when my ex would get way too drunk because she would always say this -- [ drunken voice ] "guess what, you do the math." [ laughter ] like yo, i did the math, 8 shots equals too many. all right? [ drunken voice ] "doesn't even matter!" when girls get drunk together, that's the worst. that's -- no, they're voltron, their powers are much stronger when combined. right? girls have one too many drinks, they act like it's an accomplishment, right? a girl will have one too many drinks and be like -- [ drunken voice ] "we made it! we did it, we made it. oh-ooh!

we made it." what did you make? you make a fool of yourself, is what you made. dudes don't ever do that. dudes get drunk they just sit down. right? that's a dude move. a dude will have one too many drinks and be like -- [ drunken voice ] "hey, you know what i mean? all right, forget it. you know what i mean? i hate this party. screw this party." they're not even at a party. just -- [ drunken voice ] "everybody out! get out!" they're alone in their bed. [ drunken voice ] "get out! let's go get fast food, right now." that's the thing to do though, when you're drunk at the end of the night, is to go get fast food. that's the -- by the way, hey, nothing makes me more mad then when you're at the drive through and there's drunk people in the backseat, right? because they're always trying to order better than you, right? first of all, it's easy. second of all, i drove, i'm not drinking, relax, i got this, all right? there's always somebody in the back that just like -- [ drunken voice ] "hey, get me a seven. i want a seven. hey, excuse i want a -- hey, tell them i want a seven. hey -- [ gags ] [ laughter and applause ]

excuse me, i want a seven." shh, be quiet. shut up, i already ordered the seven. we're going to get two sevens, i don't want -- who's going to eat the other seven? [ drunken voice ] "the crocodile." shut up! [ drunken voice ] "excuse me, i don't want two sevens, i want one seven. if i wanted two sevens i would get a 14, okay? i don't -- you do the math. i don't want that!" be quiet. what? [ drunken voice ] "hey -- if i want a seven, excuse me, i have to say i want to seven. if i -- what am i supposed to do text it to you? is that what it is? hey, maybe if i did want a seven then i'd be like -- but i do. okay? i want a seven." shut up! what!? and yet, you're not even at the drive through yet. you're at a red light on the intersection. she's just screaming at a kinkos with the window rolled up. [ drunken voice ] "i want a seven!" shut up! and why's there always some jerk

sitting right next to her that's just like -- "seriously bro, just get her a seven" [ laughter ] who's that dude and why is he always in car? i don't like him at all. [ drunken voice ] "hey, you know what? it doesn't even matter." i don't like -- hey, have you ever seen -- how about when -- have you ever seen when a girl get's so drunk, all of the sudden, it looks like she goes back in time for three seconds? do you ever see that move? all girls do it. they'll just be like -- [ drunken voice ] "hey! [ hiccups ] [ laughter and applause ] where am i!? oh, i'm still here. give me a seven!" [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: chris d'elia, right there! [ cheers and applause ] watch chris on "whitney" november 14th, at 8:00 p.m. here on abc. follow him on twitter, @chrisd'elia. we'll be right back, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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